the second hand on the clock
ticks with every passing moment
and with every tick,
my heart flies into my throat
beating through my chest
begging to escape.
i anxiously check my pockets
over and over again
chanting
‘phone, wallet, keys’
even though i know
they’re there.
my fingernails are bleeding
from the nervous picking
that i don’t notice
until they’re sore
and red raw
staining my sleeves with red dots.
the pent-up, nervous energy
makes my foot tap.
until it aches
all the way up my leg,
but i can’t stop –
it keeps time with the clock.
the thoughts in my head
bounce from one imminent disaster
to the next,
as my eyes flit around the room
nervously waiting
checking for exits i don’t need.
from my first waking moment,
i’m on edge,
questioning, waiting,
wishing away
this debilitating
sense of anxiety.
my mind is buzzing
my ears are ringing,
the clock is ticking,
and i wonder what it would be like
to live a day
with silence in my mind.
The tension is palpable in this piece.
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Tension is my body’s favourite thing, hahaha!
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