the cold water runs

falling in sheets around my body

and where it hits

it is met with a shiver

and goosebumps rise

as it snakes down my back.

the shower head is nothing

but a deliverer of feelings.

but i asked for this,

when i stepped into the icy water

hoping it would fix me

instead of freezing me.

the water is like ice

cutting through to my bones

and it hurts.

my body aches

regardless of how physically harmless

the water really is.

and i suppose that’s the same

as my feelings for you.

they hurt

and they send shivers down my spine

but physically

i am fine.

to most, i’m just another girl

standing in the shower.

no one could know my internal battle

as i fight the urge to cry out

as my surroundings cut me open

from the inside out.